


She knew

by britishngay



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Again, Babe where'd you go??, F/F, I enjoyed writing it, Idek if this is good, So the doctor regenerates and Yaz is like????, but - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishngay/pseuds/britishngay
Summary: The companions meet a new Doctor and Yaz doesn't know what to think.
Relationships: Fourteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	She knew

**Author's Note:**

> I know that I need to finish those Heathers WIPs but I just Had to write this.
> 
> Comments mean the world to me - but don't feel pressured to leave one x

They ran into the TARDIS just in time, lazers flying past them, smiles across their faces. Saved some people, got outlawed from some places, Yaz thought. Just a normal day with the Doctor. 

Except it wasn't. She didn't know it yet, but it really wasn't.

They were all laughing at each other, Graham clapped Ryan's back while Yaz leant on her knees, trying to gain breath after the run and laughter. There was a voice missing though, she looked up to see the Doctor looking pale, her face contorted with pain.

"Doctor, are you alright?"

"I got hit." That was the shortest sentance they ever heard her speak. And it hurt more than any of them could imagine. Yaz felt as if the wind got knocked out of her.

No, not her, please, anyone but not her.

The TARDIS was deadly quiet after the Doctor spoke.

"Doc, did you say what I thought you said?"

"Yeah, Graham, I'm dying. But I won't be soon, I'll be just like I was when we first met. All bambi and slightly confused - maybe not though. I won't be falling 30,000 feet into a train in Sheffield." 

She fell again, one hand gripping her side, the other clinging to the console of the TARDIS. Yaz felt her heart drop. The Doctor, dead, she couldn't imagine it. What did she mean she won't be dying soon? When will they learn everything about her?

Yaz thought she knew everything.

She knew how the Doctor looked when she woke up - which was rare, she only even slept when Yaz forced her because she almost fell headfirst into the console.

"Doctor?" Yaz's voice broke halfway through the word, she was so confused, so angry, so hurt, it was all too much.

She knew that the Doctor actually hated sugary tea, even though she loved sugary everything else. She knew that the Doctor loved to laugh, loved to be free.

"I'm going to regenerate soon fam, the person you'll see soon is still me. They just might be a bit different."

She knew how the Doctor liked to be kissed, knew the slow calm kisses and the hard passionate ones and the forehead ones when she felt so safe in the other woman's arms.

Her hands started glowing slightly.

"Can I have one last hug?"

They stayed back for a second.

"I'm safe."

They ran forward and hugged her in a group. Yaz could feel tears on her arms, both Ryan and Graham were crying. She could feel Ryan shaking.

"I still don't understand Doc. How-"

"Graham please, I'll explain soon." Her voice was soft now, softer than Yaz had heard it.

"I'll never forget this me, she was ace."

She knew that the Doctor loved hugging Yaz, loved protecting her, but also loved being protected. Loved to be close to Yaz, loved her shampoo and would steal her jumpers on days that they would lounge around the TARDIS.

"You guys are my family. I love you."

She looked at Yaz, their eyes meeting, she could see the tears from the blonde woman.

"And don't you forget that I love you Yasmin Khan. Don't you forget it." 

She knew the Doctor loved her, it brought a small to her face. 

The Doctor threw her head back and orange shot everywhere, light and heat filled the TARDIS. Yaz grabbed Graham's hand and Ryan towered over them, protecting them against whatever was happening with the Doctor. It stopped as soon as it started, the console room becoming dark and cold again. 

There, exactly where the Doctor stood was another woman. She stared at the ceiling and started tapping a four beat rhythm on her thigh, breathing deeply. None of them could speak, Yaz felt her throat close, who was this person? Where was her Doctor?

The woman spoke.

"I'm taller." Her voice her deeper, softer, it lacked the exuberance and excitement that the Doctor has- had. She turned to look at them. Her hair was short, brown, curly. The Doctor's clothes were tighter and hung too short.

"Hey fam." 

Those two words felt wrong from this woman's mouth, she seemed to agree. Her face scrunched slightly, nose crinkling, but not like how the Doctor used to do. She's from the South, Yaz absent mindedly thought. But no interesting accent part of the South, pure London. Graham opened and closed his mouth, Ryan just stared. 

Yaz knew one thing. This was not her Doctor, it was the Doctor but not her Doctor. This wasn't the woman Yaz loved.

So she turned and walked too her room, her hands shaking and tears threatening too fall again.

\--

Ryan came to see her soon after. She was just sitting on the bed, staring at the wall opposite. Her throat hurt, her eyes were stinging, breathing was slightly hard. She didn't know what to think or feel, she just sat there. Ryan sat next to her on the bed slowly, and just sat there.

"So you and the Doctor huh?"

"It was new, but amazing, we were going to tell you and Graham soon."

She stared at her hands.

"Graham's talking to her now, it's proper weird Yaz, she was there then she wasn't."

Yaz nodded.

"And I know that it is her, but it isn't. It isn't the person we know, or knew."

They sat in silence for a bit longer, after a while their hands linked, it was just was they needed, silence with someone who they cared about. She loves Graham but he would want to talk and that is definitely not what she wants to do right now. Talking would mean crying and she's done enough crying for the day.

"I don't know what to do Ryan, I can't talk to her, but I can't not. It hurts Ry, it hurts so much."

She buried her head into his shoulder and strong arms wrapped around her. Ryan was the second best hugger she knew, right after the Doctor, she guesses that he's the best hugger she knows now. She pulls away soon after and sees that he's crying quietly too. So much for no more crying she thought.

"Ugh, I hate crying, look proper ugly and it hurts too."

Ryan laughed quietly, wiping his eyes.

"Think about it like this, we've lost a friend but we've gained one too."

"No offense Ryan but that's complete bull."

He laughs again.

"I know, Graham said it."

Sounds about right.

"Remember after Nan's funeral and she said that she carried her family with her, we should do the same."

"You know I think Graham's rubbing off on you Ryan." He rolled his eyes and pushed her lightly. Before offering one more hug and leaving.

"Night Yaz, talk to her tomorrow yeah?"

"Maybe Ryan. I'll try."

He nodded and left, closing the door quietly.

Yaz sighed.

\-- 

Yaz shuffled into the kitchen the next morning, she knew that Graham would already be in the library and Ryan would still be a coma-like sleep that even the Doctor's awful flying couldn't shake him from.

She sighed, those thoughts floated in her head, around and around, she couldn't get them to stop. For a second she forgot about the change, but then she remembered that her eyes hurt and why her throat stung. Yaz was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the unknown Doctor in the kitchen, spoon in her mouth, her eyes wide and looking at Yaz with a nervous expression.

Her Doctor was taller than her, this one almost towered over Yaz.

"Morning Yaz."

She looked at the Doctor's tea. It was white. Everything was wrong, so, so wrong. She should be having a black tea with the teabag still in it, the water almost going black. Then she took in her appearance.

She was wearing one of Yaz's jumpers.

She didn't give it to her.

"Sorry about the jumper, barely any of her clothes fit me."

Yaz nodded.

"Yaz, can we talk please-"

She put up her hand to stop the Doctor. She talked slower than her Northern counterpart, but she still hand the intelligance behind every word.

Her body looked younger but her eyes looked older, and sadder, Yaz had hurt this person, the woman who had admitted that she loved her a second before changing.

"Give me some time. We will talk Doctor."

She turned to leave, the kitchen suddenly feeling very cold.

"Yaz I-" the Doctor swallowed her words and gave Yaz a small, weak smile. "Nevermind."

\--

It took time, a couple of awkward days where Yaz would see the new Doctor, see her awful puppy eyes and walk away. This was not the woman she loved, not the woman she knew.

When Yaz was finally ready, she found the Doctor sitting with the TARDIS doors open, legs swinging in outer space. 

She sat next to the Doctor. 

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Didn't know you could do this." Yaz gestured at them sitting on the edge of the TARDIS.

"I figured you didn't want to be this close to space again, especially after I tried to find the TARDIS and the whole Ghost Monument palava happened."

Yaz nodded, the Doctor seemed nervous, she was wringing her hands and her mouth kept twitching. That was when Yaz noticed that she was wearing glasses, square ones, with black rims.

"Why you wearing those for?" The Doctor smiled at the incredulous tone in her voice.

"I'm old Yaz, so old. My body is beginning to fail, I can't see long distance anymore. This is my 14th regeneration, I'm only meant to have 12."

"How'd you manage that?"

"Talked my way out of it of course, that me was a charmer he was."

"What about this you?" Yaz asked carefully, she could tell that this was a sore spot for this new person, this new Doctor.

"I'm quieter, I like to think in my head instead of out loud. I like to build, that has stayed, I enjoy the stars and, for the first time in a while, I like the quiet. Still figuring out the me though. But right now I'm terrified."

The Doctor gulped and stopped staring at her hands instead, looked at the stars in front of her. Yaz didn't know what to think about her, didn't know what to say. She tried to think about what she would say to the blonde woman but that knew that that would scare this Doctor.

"I'm scared that I'm boring, that Graham will not want to talk over tea in the middle of the night, scared that Ryan won't want to build with me. And scared that you won't love me, which is a selfish thought, but more that you'll never like me."

She sighed.

"I'm so unlike her."

Yaz took a shaky breath and held the Doctors hand, her face lit up but in such a sad way Yaz wasn't sure she made the right decision. But the small smile was worth it.

Yaz knew in that moment there that this was not the mad woman with a smile that could light up Sheffield that she fell in love with.

But Yaz knew that this was the Doctor that she could be friends with.

That she could love, maybe.


End file.
